Vampire Catholic Schoolgirls From Hell (1999)

Rating: *
Review Date: 2/23/01
Producer: Chrissy Mountjoy
Cast: Chrissy Mountjoy, Debra Desireé

WHAT CRAP!!! Leave it to me to find the trashiest films on the market and somehow feel compelled to watch them. Normally I wouldn't even bother with this kind of filth, but it was the publisher that caught my eye and made me change my mind. Everette Hartsoe, creator of "Razor" and founder of London Night Studios has expanded his little empire from underground comic book publishing to underground video production. Now I've met Everette several times and he's a nice and talented guy, so I figured I'd check out his latest venture. Plus, with a title like this, it was bound to have something interesting in it, right? Wrong. It turns out to be straight-up, no-budget porn shot in someone's living room with a video camera. (but at least the lighting is halfway decent) The synopsis on the back cover implies some sort of story about Catholic schoolgirls going to detention and learning that their teacher is a lesbian vampire with a taste for sweet young girls. In reality, there is no story line and the video is just a collection of lesbian sex scenes as we watch the girls masturbate and play S&M games accompanied by an offensive soundtrack of porno rap. And as an added bonus, we get to see Chrissy Mountjoy play the violin! Huh?!? The only semi bright spot in this entire mess is Monica (Debra Desireé?) - she's cute and sexy, fun to watch, and is the only one of the bunch who can actually act. Otherwise, it's just awful - avoid this video at all costs. (unless you enjoy low grade smut)