Cast: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Peter Mayhew, Anthony Daniels, James Earl Jones, Harvey Corman, Art Carney, Bea Arthur
Unless you have a morbid fascination with things that are sick and wrong, the "Star Wars Holiday Special" will offer new levels of pain and suffering. It's "Life Day" on the Wookiee home planet and Han Solo (Harrison Ford) is trying to rush Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) home for the holiday. Not surprisingly, they run into some imperial trouble and are delayed. In the interim we get to watch Chewie's family go about their daily chores anxiously awaiting his arrival. There's Chewie's wife Molla, his grumpy white-haired dad Itchy, and his bratty son Lumpy. Their peaceful vigil is smashed when some imperial troops crash their party and smash all of Lumpy's toys (those rotten no good Stormtroopers!). It's a good thing Han and Chewie show up in time to save everyone. Unspeakably bad with no clear sense of direction, some of the highlights include a virtual sex machine that Itchy uses, a holographic boom box featuring Jefferson Starship, a fascinating animated adventure featuring the debut of Boba Fett, Bea Arthur as a singing bartender on Tatooine, Carrie Fisher stumbling around under the influence of non-prescription pharmaceuticals, Art Carney as an idiotic trader and rebel sympathizer, Harvey Korman being a complete dork, and the final insult; Carrie Fisher singing a song about love and freedom at the Wookiee Life Day celebration. Oh dear god, please tell me when it's over. George Lucas officially disowns the material and with good reason. If nothing else, this should stand as a monument to how bad television in the 1970's really was.