Rating: **
Review Date: 4/29/06
Cast: Jeanne Bell, Rosanne Katon, Trina Parks, Jayne Kennedy
A laughably bad women in prison blaxploitation flick that revels in the bouncy, bra-less, and occasionally topless, Jeanne Bell. "Crossbone" Kelly (pretty Jeanne Bell) and her friend Angie (cute Rosanne Katon) are pirates who rob tour boats off the coasts of (presumably) Mexico. One ridiculous victim asks incredulously, "Pirates? What, like Errol Flynn?" When Kelly learns that her sister has been kidnapped by a ruthless slave trader, she and Angie team up with the law to sneak into the enemy compound as spies. There, they meet Marci (Trina Parks) and Serena (beautiful Jayne Kennedy), and make plans to escape. But things don't go very smoothly, and the climax of the film features three rival gangs trying to kill each other in a free-for-all gunfight.
The quality and production values for the film are about what you'd expect for a mid 70's B-movie. Most of the film is dark and poorly lit, but that could also be the result of a bad video transfer. The acting is downright horrendous, and the girls look like they're choking on every piece of bad dialog that comes out of their mouths. The action scenes are amusingly awful, as the girls attempt to dish out their woefully ineffective karate moves. Apart from watching these lovely ladies parade around in the jungle and shoot bad guys, the only noteworthy scene is a nicely executed (and logic defying) explosion at the end of the film. The movie is just bubbling over with ridiculous B-movie conventions, of which my favorite is when Kelly is mowing down a bunch of bad guys with her sub-machine gun and runs out of bullets. She yells "magazine!" and a guy pops in from nowhere, gives her a fresh clip, and then disappears. What? And then there's my favorite line of dialog, which made me burst out laughing. Right after getting bitten in the chest by a poisonous snake, Marci says "Just like every other snake I've met - can't leave my tits alone."