Lessons For An Assassin (2003)

Rating: *
Review Date: 6/22/20
Cast: Robert Vitelli, Shannon Lee, Michael Dorn

After seeing Shannon Lee's impressive work in "Enter The Eagles" (1998), I was hoping to see her expand her action persona and make more action films. Unfortunately, this one is awful, and even though she has star billing, she has very little to do in it. A street punk named Gavin (Robert Vitelli) is apprehended by a secret agency known as "The Corporation" and forced into becoming an elite assassin by going through their "re-education program." The price for failure is death. He's a cocky and disrespectful prick, but he manages to excel at his training and impress his superiors. One of his instructors is a woman named Fiona (Shannon Lee), and in addition to romance budding between them, she learns that both she and Gavin are expendable and scheduled to be terminated by the sinister head of operations (Michael Dorn). This prompts the two of them to dig up more intel on "The Corporation" and make a desperate attempt to escape the compound. The final twist is ridiculous and makes no sense, which invalidates the entire movie.

First of all, I almost didn't bother writing a review for this piece of crap because it was so unbearable to watch. It approaches Uwe Boll levels of awfulness, and after the first fifteen minutes I couldn't take any more and hit the fast forward button all the way to the end. It's a low budget production and every aspect of it is terrible. The characters are extremely unlikable and the writing is appallingly bad, which gives you very little incentive to keep watching it. The plot lacks originality (apart from the silly twist ending) and is an obvious retread of "La Femme Nikita" (1990) with the genders swapped. The acting is weak, the music is terrible, and the action scenes are embarrassingly awful. Robert Vitelli handles most of the action and Shannon gets to throw a couple of nice punches and kicks, but the choreography, cinematography, and editing are so bad that their performances fail to make sense or have any impact. Even though I didn't properly watch the movie, I found it to be a complete waste of time with no redeeming qualities.