Rating: **
Review Date: 9/15/24
Cast: Dave Bautista, Sofia Boutella, Pom Klementieff, Ben Kingsley,
Terry Crews, Scott Adkins, Marko Zaror, Lucy Cork, Shaina West
Joe Flood (Dave Bautista) is the world's top assassin, but he's ready to retire and settle down. He conveniently discovers the love of his life in a ballet dancer named Maize (Sofia Boutella), and soon after discovers that he has a terminal disease. Rather than tell Maize the truth, he takes out a contract on himself and leaves all of his money to her in a life insurance policy. As luck would have it, the diagnosis ends up being a mix-up, leaving Joe to fight an endless flood of assassins that are called in by a spiteful associate named Antoinette (Pom Klementieff).
Unfortunately, the film is a mess and fails to live up to its potential. Imagine a parody of "Bullet Train" (2022), which itself was a parody, with a little bit of "John Wick" (2014) thrown in for good measure. Dave Bautista is sweet and charming, even when he's busting heads, and Sofia Boutella makes a surprisingly effective romantic lead. Scott Adkins and Marko Zaror are always fun to watch in action, but they have very little screen time and they look like they're pulling their punches against Bautista.
It's a decent-looking film and the action choreography is above average, but where it falls apart is in its structure and tone. It fails to find a groove and the frequent tonal shifts create viewer whiplash. The comedy doesn't work and the romantic angle, while sweet, feels sorely out of place. The parade of quirky and goofy assassins fails to be interesting because they're not given any sort of narrative and we never get to learn anything about them. They're simply introduced and then wiped out. The soundtrack is regrettably poor, which is also part of the failed humor angle. Overall, it feels like a missed opportunity that settles for being mildly entertaining and instantly forgettable.