Rating: *
Review Date: 9/25/24
Cast: Neville Brand, Aldo Ray, Tina Louise, John Carradine,
Julie Newmar, Karrie Emerson, Amber Lynn
Space aliens arrive in a college town to steal blood from people who are 16-24 years old. They're very specific about this age bracket. Unfortunately, it's summer break, so their prey isn't as plentiful as they were hoping, but it's also an excuse for lots of beach shenanigans and teenage sex. The aliens outsource their objectives to a couple of stupid and sadistic auto mechanics who kidnap, rape, murder, and mutilate attractive young people in exchange for gold-painted quarters. When their time is up, the aliens leave and kill off their human helpers.
This is a prime example of a bad movie made badly. You know you're in trouble when the very first scene in the film is a shot of a colonial shuttle from "Battlestar Galactica" (1978), and the very last scene is the same shot flipped and played in reverse. Within seconds, we're treated to a sex scene in the woods with full female nudity as a killer prowls in the shadows. The film has a shocking amount of softcore sex and nudity in it, performed by at least four adult film stars. It also marks Amber Lynn's first "mainstream" role, although all she does is have sex with someone and then leave. What's especially odd about all of the sex scenes is that they literally serve no purpose at all, and are just filler. They don't even involve any main characters and seem to be totally random.
Another interesting aspect of the film is its lack of structure, purpose, or hero characters. The people who survive are not the ones you expect, and certainly not the most charismatic ones. The lovely Karrie Emerson is groomed as the main character and I expected her to be the "final girl," but it doesn't turn out that way. On a similar note, the victims are all frustratingly powerless, even when they're armed with heavy tools against frail old men. It seems like clocking one of these bad guys in the head with a plumber's wrench a half dozen times would do some considerable damage, but they just shake it off and come back for more. At one point, one of the bad buys literally gets his brain blown out of his ear, but all that does is make him angry.
While the film is inept in every way, the saddest part is seeing legendary actors John Carradine, Julie Newmar, and Tina Louise scraping the bottom of the barrel and being reduced to playing spandex-clad space aliens in what amounted to a 1-day shoot. Not surprisingly, the visual effects are terrible and the only sets are a garage and an abandoned roadside motel. In addition to the baffling "Battlestar Galactica" rip-off, the most egregious thing about the film is the movie poster, which features the Millennium Falcon with two cockpits. That alone is what brought my attention to the film, even though it doesn't appear in it. For bad movie enthusiasts only.