Dune Warriors (Philippines 1990)

Rating: *
Review Date: 1/14/17
Director: Cirio Santiago
Music: The Score Warriors
Cast: David Carradine, Rick Hill, Jillian McWhirter, Maria Isabel Lopez

A terrible post-apocalyptic action film that features an embarrassingly awful performance by David Carradine. A desert warlord named William launches an attack on a peaceful farming community in order to steal their water. Rather than see her people subjugated and slaughtered, a woman named Val (Jillian McWhirter) sets out to hire warriors to defend the village. She is nearly killed by a group of marauding midgets before running into Michael (David Carradine), who decides to join her cause because he has a score to settle with William. They also recruit a couple of cocky con-men and a shotgun wielding woman named Miranda. The battle escalates, loyalties are tested, and romance blooms in the wasteland.

I definitely enjoy desert action and vehicular mayhem, but this film has absolutely nothing going for it. Jillian McWhirter is very pretty and is by far the best actor in the cast, but she has little to do other than look sad and scared (which she does quite well). Maria Lopez is a welcomed sight as a bad-ass female warrior, but her character is woefully underutilized. Not surprisingly, the majority of the action goes to the men, and super-buff Rick Hill in particular. David Carradine is a complete joke and sleepwalks his way through the entire film. He must have just been slumming in the Philippines and looking for a paycheck. The only good thing about his deadpan performance is that he's completely oblivious to all of the explosions going on around him. In a strange way, his total lack of reaction makes him seem like a pretty tough guy who is dead to the world and has been through hell and back. Until you see his action scenes, that is. His fight scenes are extremely lame, and gratuitous drop-frame editing is used to try and speed up the pace. He also dons a pair of shorts and a cape when he's fighting, which looks goofy and makes no sense. There are a couple of nice stunts and a couple of attractive explosions, but that's not enough to warrant sitting through this low budget flop.

Funniest credit: Meal Checker. What does a meal checker do? Make sure the catered food is safe to eat?