Cyclone (1987)

Rating: *
Review Date: 9/11/99
Cast: Heather Thomas, Jeffrey Combs, Ashley Ferrare, Martin Landau

Intolerably bad. Its only saving grace is getting to see Heather Thomas strut around in tight jeans and act tough. A nerdo scientist (Jeffrey Combs) is working on a top secret government weapon called the Cyclone. It's a super-charged motorcycle equipped with missiles, lasers, armor plating, "the firepower of an F-16," and has a coat of stealth paint on it to avoid radar detention. Uh-huh. Oh yeah, it also runs on a source of unlimited power, which sucks hydrogen out of the air and cleanly burns it as fuel, and this is what the bad guys want. After the guy is murdered, his girlfriend (Heather Thomas) takes the bike and tries to deliver it to the right people, but as it turns out, everyone's a bad guy and she ends up killing everyone and destroying the precious fuel source. Ugh. Laughably bad continuity, painful dialog, and generally incompetent filmmaking. It does, however, feature one really nice car explosion stunt, though.