Blonde Emanuelle (19??)

Rating: *

Normally I wouldn't bother writing a review for a porno film, but this one is noteworthy because it was filmed in 3D. Kris, Shannon, and I went to see this atrocity in 1992 on Valentine's Day of all things, and I'm still apologizing to them for it. It even came complete with souvenir "deep vision" red/blue 3D glasses. Such a novelty could hardly be passed up. Unfortunately, what I figured would be obvious choices for tasteless 3D tricks weren't present (which would have made "Comin' At Ya!" (1982) at much more appropriate title), and up until the last five minutes of the film I couldn't figure out why it was 3D in the first place. Finally at the end, our heroine throws some cheesy styrofoam rocks at the camera, and in one of the most tasteless scenes ever, is sucking some guy's cock and proceeds to bite it off and spit the bloody hunk of man-flesh at the camera. Wow. Obviously, other than that it was a complete waste of time.