Barbarian Queen (1985)

Rating: **
Review Date: 11/14/99
Cast: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea, Susana Taverso, Dawn Dunlap

Oh my. This film offers more nekkid breasts than I've seen in a long time. Amethea (Lana Clarkson) is about to get married when her village is raided and plundered by a group of bandits lead by a dopey and extremely unconvincing villain. She manages to escape with two of her friends, Tiniara and Estrild, and together they go out seeking revenge. Tiniara (Hispanic beauty Susana Taverso) is a fierce and beautiful woman warrior, while Estrild (pretty Katt Shea) is a rather ditzy girl with an insatiable appetite for food and a killer 80's hairdo. She also gets stuck with all of the film's bad dialog, and her high school girl delivery doesn't help. The first thing they do is free Amethea's sister Taramis (sexy and bitchy Dawn Dunlap), who got raped at the beginning of the film, and then the four of them ride off to the villain's castle. But things are tough at the castle as Amethea gets captured and tortured, Estrild gets drafted as a harem girl, Taramis goes AWOL and decides to become the villain's love slave, and Tiniara gets killed. Damn! Why is it that the prettiest one is always the first to die? After her death I became much less interested in the film, and had to focus on Estrild's bumbling escapades instead. Amethea and Estrild eventually manage to escape and organize a rebellion which leads to the inevitable free-for-all climax. Sure it's cheesy, but at least it's honest and sincere in its cheesiness. The girls are charming and fun to watch, and Lana and Susana have no problem swinging swords around and getting rough with the guys. There are definitely worse ways to waste an evening.