Shudan Satsujin Club (Japan 2003)

Rating: *
Review Date: 4/6/20

Irredeemably awful and practically unwatchable. The movie opens with five delinquent high school girls selling their panties and shoplifting makeup. One of the girls named Hiroe ends up at a love hotel with some creepy old dude, presumably to con him as she has no intentions of sleeping with him. A crazy accident kills the man, so Hiroe calls her girlfriends to help dispose of the body. They also stuff a tampon in the puncture wound to stop the bleeding. The girls bury the body in the woods, but he doesn't stay buried for long. It turns out that he has a cursed hand, which makes him seemingly indestructible. Even when the girls hack him into tiny pieces with a power saw, he somehow manages to pull himself back together and track them down. He even generates clones of himself, and at one point there are three instances of him that exist at the same time (although the duplicates inexplicably disappear just as quickly as they inexplicably showed up). The girls escape to an abandoned house, but the evil guy quickly shows up and starts killing them one-by-one. Although after killing the first two, all he wants to do is eat, sing, and dance with the other three. At one point, the evil hand breaks free from its host body and inexplicably erupts out of one of the girls' bodies. Then it somehow flies through the solar system on some whacked out acid trip while chasing the remaining girls through the house. When all seems lost, Hiroe finds a magic scroll that appears to take away the evil hand's power. She decides to appease the cursed hand by going on a date with the guy, and then ditches him for good while playing hide-and-seek in the park.

Ugh. What a complete disaster of a movie. It was obviously shot on cheap handheld video equipment and the camera work is appallingly bad. There's no budget to speak of and the entire production looks terrible. The direction is horrible and the visual effects are mind-blowingly awful. Seriously, they have to be seen to be believed. Without the benefit of subtitles, I had a hard time following what was going on, but I don't think they would have helped. The pacing is also extremely challenging, and most of the movie is just nonsense filler material and weird video montages by a filmmaker who clearly doesn't know what he's doing. Is it art or is it crap? I vote for the latter. The acting is pretty poor, and the bad guy was obviously inspired by Bruce Campbell's hand in "Evil Dead II" (1987). The only nice thing I can say about the movie is that the girls are cute, but that alone can't justify its existence. It's shocking that this film ever got made, and even more shocking that it spawned at least three sequels that I know of.