Shaolin Drunk Monkey (HK 1984)

Rating: *
Review Date: 4/4/04
Director: Godfrey Ho
Cast: Elton Chong

So unfathomably bad, that it's hardly believable. Mix-and-match master Godfrey Ho has really created an abomination with this film, that features neither Shaolin, drunken fighting, monkeys, or any combination thereof. Trying to outline the plot is futile because the continuity is so appalling. Basically, a buffoon named Mo is seeking revenge for the death of his teacher, and is taken in by an old beggar who is a master of kung fu (who we're led to believe got killed at the beginning of the film). He learns how to fight and eventually has his revenge against Silver Eagle, who is doing his best Hwang Jang Lee impersonation. As I mentioned before, the continuity is atrocious, and scenes are randomly stitched together as far as I can tell. People's clothes, hairstyles, and surroundings change between shots, and characters who have been killed continue to show up throughout the film. Dialog is nonsensical, events are not explained, and neither are character motives. It's just one jumbled mess that will scramble your brain if you try to make sense of it. Some of the kung fu is good, but not good enough to warrant sitting through this sad excuse for a film.