The Invincible Constable (Taiwan 2003)

Rating: *
Review Date: 5/25/03
Cast: Cynthia Khan, Benny Ko, Alex Fong, cameo by Anthony Wong

Incomprehensible and spectacularly bad kung fu nonsense featuring a supporting cast of former Hong Kong A-list talent. The story follows the rivalry between two men: an upstanding and handsome young official named Zhan Zhao (aka "The Royal Cat") and a cocky and arrogant idiot named Bai Yutang who belongs to a group of martial artists known as "The Rats." It is Yutang's ultimate goal to humiliate Zhan, and he's constantly pulling pranks trying to meet that end. Then there's Yuehua (Cynthia Khan), a cute and flirtatious bitch who just fuels Yutang's anger and hot temper even more. The rivalry escalates to the point where Yutang steals the Imperial Sword to prove how good he is, which evokes the wrath of some non-descript white-haired kung fu warlord played by an 80's era kung fu veteran whose name I can't remember. A confusing and nonsensical fight between the Cat, the Rats, and the villain takes place, with the bad guy eventually getting the bad end of the deal.

Painfully unfunny humor coupled with low budget production values and ridiculously undercranked fight scenes make this a chore to watch. It is nice, however, to see Cynthia Khan again and she looks quite lovely. Sadly, she doesn't see a lot of action and is doubled for a couple of scenes, but she's still quite charming. Why Anthony Wong is in this film is anyone's guess. He's in exactly three scenes and doesn't see more than a minute's worth of screen time. Very strange.