Rating: **
Review Date: 5/27/19
Cast: Yukari Oshima, Alex Fong
"My iron balls feel like marshmallows now!"
The film opens with the Queen Of Cats (Yukari Oshima) battling the 1000-Year Wolf Spirit. The cat ultimately prevails, although she's seriously injured in the process. When passer-by Chun-Hai (Alex Fong) comes to her aid, she decides to repay his kindness by secretly becoming his pet cat. Then the two of them disappear for the next forty-five minutes while a completely different tragedy plays out. A broke couple is trying to find a new life in the big city, when the man is hospitalized for six months with hepatitis. His loving girlfriend works overtime to pay his medical bills and eventually resorts to working as a hostess at a sleazy night club, where the wicked manager rapes her. She commits suicide out of shame, and her boyfriend is killed while trying to avenge her. At this point, Chun-Hai's girlfriend Moony witnesses the murder, and becomes the manager's next target. Numerous attempts are made on her life, but Yukari Oshima always manages to show up and defeat the bad guys. It turns out that the bar manager is the reincarnation of the 1000-Year Wolf Spirit, and Queen Of Cats has to defeat him again.
It really feels like this is two separate movies stitched together, as the first half has absolutely nothing to do with the second half. The only connection is the villain and the witness. The first five minutes are promising, as we get to see some wonderful fighting from Yukari Oshima, but then the film turns into a weepy drama. She finally shows up again at the end for some more butt kicking, but it's not enough to save the film. As a spirit, she's repelled by holy symbols, so she summons a group of cats to swipe any religious pendants off of her assailants before fighting them. The actress who plays Moony is quite pretty, and looks absolutely stunning when she dons a surprisingly sexy dress to go to the beach. I figured that would mark her doom and seal her fate, but it didn't. She also keeps a shotgun in her dresser for home defense, although she doesn't make very good use of it. Sadly, there's not enough going on in the film to make it interesting, and the "make it up as you go" plot makes it confusing to follow.